I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
