it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
