i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
