stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
