I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
