Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
