I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
