I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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