we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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