How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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