Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My bed smells like the plague
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