Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
