Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
