i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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