The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
