Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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