Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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