is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
