Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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