He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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