There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
