You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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