im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
