They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
