Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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