if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
