Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
