He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
