he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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