I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Randomize
