I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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