I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
