Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
