allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
