if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
