I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
3pm strippers are depressing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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