420 ftw
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
