Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
