i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
