you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
