we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
