fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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