my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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