Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
