I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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