Do vagina's smell?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize