i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
