Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
