i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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