some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
