We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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