I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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