so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
