Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bring me that man meat
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
