i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You can't just leave with hair like that
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
