For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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