Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
