How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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