you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize