it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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