I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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