it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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