I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think my tv is drunk
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize