when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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