He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish i was in the wii world.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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