I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
