I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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